Depression and the Future of the Blog

Hello friends.

Depression. A lot of us have it or have had it at one point. Even more of us know someone who has it.

I say “has” instead of “suffers from” or “struggles with” because I like to remind myself as often as possible that although I’ve been diagnosed with depression for a decade now (feeling old…), it’s not something that I necessarily think about every hour or even every day. This positive framing of what truly is a condition as just that really helps me keep my own perceptions in check.

That said, the past few months I have definitely not only “had” depression but oh man have I been struggling. I have thought about dropping out, I have skipped a class because I simply could not get out of bed, I have walked out of class to cry (looking in the bathroom mirror and saying “there’s no crying in law school” didn’t help, shocker) and just today I had a classmate walk in as I was laughing at something and exclaim “I haven’t seen you laugh in days!” To which my only reply is… well that’s because I haven’t laughed in days.

So. I haven’t been around. I haven’t been documenting my experience. Because who wants to read “today I read 100 pages but did not talk to my family or friends and only ate one meal.”

Here’s the deal. I don’t have all my grades from last semester, still. I don’t want to post about study tips or the like until I have those as proof that the tips I would offer are actually effective. I don’t have any summer internship interviews yet. Yes it’s freaking me out a lot. My law school friends have not turned into my soulmates. This is all okay. Because I am still here, I am still functioning, and most importantly, I am keeping up with the reading (it’s a joke it’s a joke).

For now my plan is to focus on mental health tips, and which resources I found helpful or unhelpful in understanding courses. As the other life events roll in, so will corresponding posts.

Let me know if there’s anything in particular you’re worried or curious about, and I’ll do my best to answer you.

xoxo

 

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2 thoughts on “Depression and the Future of the Blog

  1. Hang in there!!! I had a similar experience with depression during undergrad and as I look back on it, I knew it held me back from so many things and it’s a reason I continually hesitate and doubt myself about law school. Every once and awhile it really starts to rear its head and take over my life. Not fun.

    My mom decided a few years ago to go back to school (at age 50) to get her doctorate and become an nurse practitioner. She had been a nurse for 30 years, but this was a whole new level of crazy. She tells me all the time that you will take things on, and once you’re inside the beast, you will have days of self doubt where you wonder “Why TF am I doing this to myself?!” And you wonder how you could have prepared differently or what you’ve done wrong since you started, and it’s just about sticking with it.

    One of the things I really like about your posts is that you’re not trying to show this perfect, ideal, obvious law candidate bragging about color-coded highlighting. Like a model on a magazine cover, she helps no one. You can do this, and by sharing the truth of your experience, you’re helping others too.

    Have a GREAT day! 💕

    Hang in there, keep reading, keep laughing, and call home:) Good luck with the summer internships, and your first semester grades!

    Like

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